A Sad Truth

So, I finally received my March Vogue in the mail a few days ago. It's still covered in the plastic wrap and waiting to be opened. It's been about 3 days and I just have absolutely no desire to remove the plastic and actually read the magazine. I remember the days when I couldn't wait to rip off the plastic cover and furiously thumb through the pages. Those days have been gone for a while now. It just goes to show that Vogue really really sucks. I mean, I'm a longtime subscriber and I can't bring myself to actually read this issue! Maybe it's because I already know what's going to be in it without even turning one page: rich socialites lounging by their infinity pools, overpriced designer duds that no one can afford (especially in this economy), ass-kissing advertorials, overexposed celebrities waxing poetic about how much they've "grown" since their last project, yachts and Tuscan villas, more rich pricks and anorexic models jumping up and down. I'm not sure when I'll actually read this issue; maybe I should just recycle it now.

This is EPIC! Michelle Obama on the cover of Vogue

WOW! I am speechless. I can barely contain my excitement so please understand there may be a few typos in this post. 

FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA IS ON THE COVER OF VOGUE!!!

Let's get the superficial stuff out of the way first: She looks gorgeous, natural, approachable and classy. The cover lines are not overdone and don't overwhelm the photo, which is how it should always be. I hate when magazine editors bombard the cover with a hundred inane quotes.

Now, the more profound meaning behind this cover: I hope that this means that Vogue or, more accurately, La Wintour will start to embrace diversity in the pages of her magazine. In order for Vogue to FINALLY get back in touch with the world of fashion and the world at large, it needs to realize that white, anorexic blondes aren't the only people on the planet. I think this is a step in the right direction.

The Twisted Logic Behind Vogue's Covers: Keira Knightley, 4; Halle Berry, 1

OK, so this really irritates me and, quite frankly, just pisses me off to the nth degree. It seems like every time the postman/woman drops off the latest gigantic issue of Vogue, Keira Knightley is on the cover...again. In the past 4 years, Keira's been on the cover of American Vogue 4 times. That's once a year for those of you not mathematically inclined (don't worry, I'm one of you). Is Keira Knightley the last remaining actress on Earth and La Wintour has no choice but to regurgitate her as often as possible? I don't get it. Yeah, she's been in some great movies and she was nominated for an Oscar, but Vogue makes you think she's the second coming of Christ or something!

This whole thing drives me crazy when I think about the fact that Halle Berry (one of the most beautiful and talented actresses of our era AND an Oscar winner) has only been on the cover of Vogue once. Yes, just one time in December 2002 - 6 YEARS AGO!!! I mean, am I the only one who thinks there's something really wrong with this? Halle's been appearing in movies consistently since 2002; she's still an A-lister; she's constantly in the media. Seriously, what gives? I think we both know the reason, but I just don't have the heart to state it right now.

Though she may be beautiful, I am truly sick of seeing Keira Knightley's face on the cover of American Vogue and every other magazine.

BRING BACK HALLE BERRY!

Italian Vogue is Badass

Though I cannot read Italian, I love Italian Vogue for its devotion to innovation and conceptualism, its tantalizing photo spreads and gorgeous covers. Italian Vogue isn't afraid to push the envelope, if you'll forgive me for using such a cliched phrase. Like an Italian mafioso, it's truly badass.

Just a few months ago, Italian Vogue had an "all-black" issue featuring only black models on its covers and inside photo spreads. People said it wouldn't sell; it sold out. Would American Vogue ever make such a bold move? Even with the first black president in office and February being black history month? No, of course not. American Vogue is too scared of making these types of statements for some reason. It would be truly refreshing to see something bold and new and fresh from the stale and boring magazine. And it doesn't have to come in the form of an "all-black" issue.

It could be something as simple as an innovative, creative, captivating and lush cover like the one above, also from Italian Vogue. OK, obviously the cover isn't everything, but in a way it is the most important thing because it's what you look at before you decide to actually look inside. If you really pay attention to these types of things, you'll notice that oftentimes the cover will determine whether you turn even one page of the magazine or none at all.

The Twisted Logic Behind Vogue's Covers: Jennifer Hudson vs. Beyonce

I think it was about a year ago when Jennifer Hudson graced the cover of Vogue. The appearance made headlines because it's very rare for an African-American woman to be featured on Vogue's cover, especially one that wasn't emaciated beyond recognition (as most of Vogue's cover models tend to be). Jennifer Hudson was a welcome change from the usual banality of white models and actresses that look like they all came from the same gene pool. I was very happy to see J-Hud on the cover of the most prestigious fashion magazine in all the land, but it was also an appearance that made me wonder: How come Beyonce, one of the most popular and successful singers and actresses in the country, has never been on the cover of Vogue?

What's wrong with Beyonce? She's super famous, gorgeous, successful, talented and she loves fashion. She's arguably more famous than Hudson plus they were both in the same movie, Dreamgirls, together. Ok, so Beyonce didn't win an Oscar for her performance, but it's not like Vogue only puts Oscar winners on its covers. Plus, she has like a million Grammys. I can't help but think that it's because Beyonce is black, and Vogue is not about to put more than one black actress, singer or athlete (LeBron James graced a cover with Gisele a few months ago) on the cover in one year. Honestly, even that doesn't make sense to me. It's illogical decisions like this that really ruin the joy of Vogue for me. It just seems to me that Beyonce is deserving of a Vogue cover and the whole situation leaves me scratching my head. I wish I could corner La Wintour in a malfunctioning elevator and just ask her point-blank: Why Jennifer Hudson and not Beyonce?