Monday, March 23, 2009

Vogue's Shape Issue: A Lesson in Fail

Once a year, American Vogue presents a charade known as the "Shape Issue." It chronicles different women of various shapes - short, thin, tall, pregnant (I didn't really think that was a shape but whatever), & curvy. They do this by featuring a famous woman (singer, model, actress) and talking about her particular shape, somehow making her body sound like some disease that the person has courageously learned to live with. For example, "Best friends Olivia Thirlby and Zoe Kravitz are New York girls with an answer for everything - especialy, Sally Singer learns, how to be small yet staggeringly stylish." In case you were wondering, Olivia and Zoe are "short" and they have to somehow figure out how to be stylish and look good in clothes because this is clearly impossible for people who aren't 6 feet tall and 120 pounds, right? "Olivia and Zoe are tiny, and the most wackily charming New York double act since Madonna and Rosanna Arquette," Singer writes. I'm sorry, but I don't get it. This is like saying, "they may be tiny, but they're still human - amazing!"

Cue to me rolling my eyes. Oh LORD, Vogue often makes me laugh my ass off. But why am I surprised? This is the same magazine that convinced Laura and Kate Mulleavy to lose weight and actually have the experience chronicled in its pages for all eternity.

There's also a feature on Charlotte Gainsbourg and Lou Doillon, "two spirited sisters who treat being thin like a birthright," but I'll get to those two sad saps later.

Friday, March 13, 2009

Cool! Beyonce on Vogue Cover

Did Anna Wintour somehow stumble on my previous post about the twisted logic behind her magazine's illustrious cover choices? Probably not. But check out how cool this is: Beyonce Knowles on the cover of Vogue, FINALLY!!!

I must confess she looks gorgeous and stylish. Yes, the fashion bible's covers are still pretty safe and boring, but I have to admit that the last two covers have made me happy. For the first time in a long time, I don't see pale anorexic triplets looking at me with empty eyes from the cover.
As much as I like this cover, I can already tell that the inside pages are going to be as out-of-touch and irrelevant as ever. But I'll have to reserve that judgment for when I actually get this issue in the mail. Here's hoping I can bring myself to actually remove it from the plastic cover.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Ummm...I don't know what to do with this...

As you can see from this photo, I still haven't ripped the cover off of my March Vogue. Isn't it sad? I have NO desire to read it at all!!!

It's kind of unbelievable, but after, like, 12 years of being obsessed with Vogue, I suddenly just don't care.

You know how some people get divorced after like 20 years of marriage and everyone is totally shocked by it? This is exactly like that.

OMG I just had a brilliant thought! I will keep this issue in mint condition, still in its plastic cover and then sell it on eBay in about 15 years...I'm sure it'll be worth something by then. Hooray!