Stop Insulting Me, Vogue

In my latest issue of Vogue (which I subscribe to so I don't understand why they're sending me these subscription slips, but whatever), the soulless hags over at Conde Nast(y) are attempting to bribe me with the fugliest purse I've ever seen. They've dubbed it the "exclusive Vogue Bag" - ooh, sounds fancy! I'm sorry, but am I to believe that Anna Wintour would be caught dead holding this "exclusive" Vogue bag? I've never been so insulted in all my life. This is worse than the shit Lucky tries to bribe me with. It's not even Kate Spade! This shit wouldn't sell for more than $5 on Canal Street!

But what really gets me is the 49% off the cover price line...I mean, why not 50%? For shame, Vogue, for shame!